MR OBAMA JUST DO THESE EIGHT THINGS TO DEFEAT PUTIN

 

1)      Ban their use of coal and other fossil fuels and make them exist on green energy. Remember when the President was campaigning for the office and he said “you can build a coal fired power plant but we will bankrupt you if you run it.” Remember when the Democratic House and Senate failed to pass the Presidents Cap and Trade legislation. The EPA has been implementing regulations based on the law even though it didn’t pass. Remember how we invested in all those “Solyndra” type green energy companies that failed and then promoted the failed Chevy Volt. What about the restrictions on all oil exploration on public lands and the obstruction of the Keystone Pipeline construction, do you remember those? The infuriating adherence to the man made global warming fraud that has been so completely debunked must also be part of our grand plan. Get the international community to force the Russian auto makers to live by our café mileage standards.

2)      Mandate that all Russians go on Obamacare or pay a tax. We know that it will cause their healthcare costs to skyrocket and cause doctor shortages. It would surly cause unrest in the populace as well as create distrust of their government and all those rich 1%ers. Putin would fall in popularity as fast as you have and even his loyal backers would start to leave him, which would weaken his hold on power for sure. I don’t see a down side for us here Mr. President; we could even send Sebelius over as an adviser to guarantee their failure. Make sure she takes some disks with pirated copies of the website software on them as added insurance.

3)      Prohibit all drilling on Russian public land or export of natural gas. We have first hand evidence of the damaging effects that this will have on their whole economy and it would have the secondary benefit of crippling those bothersome Western Europeans. We would have a perfect opportunity to move in on the market if you let our gas producers export it. Good for us and bad for them, what could be better?

4)      Get the UN to mandate Russian businesses work under EPA regulations. I’m sure that our environmental scientists can find enough endangered species to stop all of Russia’s exploitation of natural resources. They have lots of vodka which presents a great opportunity to force them to burn it for fuel and piss off tons of Russian people. I bet it would drive up the price of food and fuel just like it did here. They would never be able to keep warm in their climate once the EPA closes their gas and coal fired power houses.

5)      RE-define their full time work week to 30 hours to cripple their industrial production. Oh wait, we better not do that, the Russians don’t work that much now. On second thought we should just limit the Polish and Chech workers to thirty hours a week. Most of the productive work is done by them anyway.  

6)      Raise the minimum wage so that they can’t employ so many people. The number of people on government subsistence would grow putting unsustainable pressure on their economy. If it works as well there as it does here most of their young people will be unable to get jobs and drift into drugs and crime. If we help the Mexican drug cartels transport their product to Russia and throw in cheap video games and salty snacks their economy will never recover.

7)      Bring sanctions against them for human rights violations unless they agree to pay government workers for overtime. Before you know it private workers will demand equal pay and eventually form collective bargaining unions capable of helping their industry like they do for ours.

8)      Demand that the Russian Government pay Welfare benefits to illegal aliens and unwilling workers. We can even supply the illegal aliens if they don’t have enough of their own. Just think of the debt it would create and the lessons it would teach to the next generation.

The plan is proven and your administration is experienced at its implementation Mr. President. I submit that the plan will work and even though I copied the list from an internet joke.  It really isn’t that funny is it?